They just are.  Today was a day that most days will be better than.  This could be the benchmark by which other days will be measured.

The thing is that when taken in its component parts it hasn’t been too bad but as a whole… sucks.

I started out in a bad mood.  Woke up after not nearly enough sleep (again) and went into the office.  My supervision was ok but there is a whole thing going round all the people who do my job just now about how we account for time rather than focusing on the quality of work, but that’s a story for another day.

Staff meeting was ok but I had to leave early to go to the dental hospital.  That’s when things started to go pear shaped.

I arrived on time on floor 7.  I waited.  20 minutes later I was seen by a jolly consultant who asked me why my dentist had referred me and then sent me for an x-ray on floor 3.  The sign said ’15 minute wait until you get your x-ray’.  I waited 30 minutes to get my x-ray then a further 40 minutes on the x-ray film.  The staff had helpfully been saving them up and brought through 5 at one time!  Back to floor 7.  More waiting.  Eventually after 2 hours of waiting punctuated with 4 minutes of actually being seen or x-rayed I told the receptionist I would have to leave.  Children to collect and all that.  Just then the nurse came through and called me.  I explained I had to leave.  ”Just 2 minutes” says the nurse and sure enough, I go through and the consultant tells me that he’s not sure I need a root treatment or that my tooth is perforated and that I need to come back and see his colleague.  Great.

I now know EXACTLY what I knew after seeing my own dentist 2 months ago!!!

To be fair the rest of my day has been ok.  I saw my kids and I’m parked in front of my laptop surfing the web and listening to Celtic play in the Champions League while looking forward to Motherwell’s European adventure tomorrow.

Oh, one final moan.  Ryder Cup.  Come on Sky Sports.  How about Pay-Per-View online like last time?  I don’t want to pay for your overpriced sports package on cable.  I just want to watch Europe beat the Yanks… again.  That will cheer me up.

We’re not going far this year so over the summer we’ve been enjoying the pleasures of trying to find things to do nearer to home to keep us and the kids amused.  We’ve popped down to Keswick a couple of times and had some great days out to Dynamic Earth, The Burrell Collection and Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery.

The thing is, and I know I sound like a grumpy old man now, but it COSTS A FORTUNE to stay at home!!!

Anyway, now that the complaining is out of the way, we’ve had, and continue to have, lots of fun.  We’ve gone to the local park and ridden our bikes and played football and camped (not in the local park!) and climbed hills and cruised in boats and met friends and eaten the best fish and chips and cakes.  And that was just this weekend.

We both have this week off work and college and the boys are here so hopefully lots more fun to come.

And we’re winning the Gadget Show competition this week so don’t bother entering.  Thanks.

Ramble Alert! OK. I’m not sure where this post is going but stick with me and hopefully it will get somewhere…

I’m working on some aims and objectives for my job. I tell everyone I train to do it so it’s practice what you preach time.

The thing is… I can write down the stuff I do/will do/can do standing on my head OR I can do all that and try to do something that will make a difference. We have been talking a lot in our little Synod Team about ‘Culture Carrying’. That discussion has grown from a feeling that we have to do better than maintaining the church. To do that we need to embody something else. We need to be culture carriers.

So my quandary is twofold:

Does any of the stuff I do make a difference? And if it does, who or what does it make a difference to? And are those the right people?

What culture should I be carrying? I start where I always do. Asking for thoughts and ideas.

Headphonaught suggests I keep being me. I’m not sure I can be anything else, or that I can write that down on my forward plan!

1. Be me.

2. see 1

I think he’s right though. I need to be authentic. And so does the church. If it’s not about life and living it then what’s the point?

Avril asked me what difference the church can make to the lives of people in and out of it? I don’t really know the answer to that question. I’m sure it makes a bigger difference than we might at first think because the ‘organisation’ isn’t the be all and end all of being church thank God. The people live and move in the world, loving, caring, helping and supporting as they go. But then so do lots of others who have no involvement in church.

My thing is children and young people and the adults that work with them. At least that’s what my job is. My problem is that sometimes I have no idea what to do with that. (is that something I should be admitting?) I sometimes wonder if the church as it exists is anyplace for our children and young people? In some cases yes and in some no.

What I have noticed is that the churches that are willing to invest some time, money and most of all themselves are the ones that do well with children and young people. And yet few of our churches are growing significantly. That isn’t because they are not good places full of good people. I would recommend a number of them to anyone.

I wonder if it is because we don’t advertise our existence? Is that a confidence thing? Are we silent because we don’t know who we are or what we are for?

I wrote a chapter in a book called Inside Verdict which I began with the words “This isn’t working anymore.” Well, is it any better now? Of course some of it is. The Together@MCT project I’ve been working with people on perhaps sheds some light. Engaging worship. Discussion with no pressure. Hopefully some community building. But I’m not sure we have gotten our heads around who it is for and how we should move forward yet. We need to keep the bigger picture before us. That will come though.

The pervasive themes of personalisation and participation return to my thinking again and again. The world, my world, seems to value both of these. How does that fit with community? It seems to in the world of facebook and bebo. I can be me. I can have my personal page but I belong to the community and can participate and add and contribute. How does/could/should that work in church?

Media that targets you but doesn’t include you may not be worth sitting still for.

Clay Shirky

So just a few questions to answer. I’ll get back to my aims and objectives now and see if any or all of those thoughts make it onto the page.

Your thoughts would be much appreciated. Really. They would.

Church can be an odd place, full of odd people.  What sometimes makes it odder is that these odd people think that other people are odd.  Despite Jesus’ ‘great commandment’ to love each other as He loved us we shy away from strangers, we are fearful of difference and we gravitate towards people who are like us and who do like us.

This week’s lectionary Gospel reading is that odd story of  the Emmaus Road where two disciples walk with a stranger who asks them about what has happened over easter.  They tell him and the stranger starts to talk scripture with them, reminding them of all the things Jesus had said.  Still they don’t recognise him.

Why?  Why can’t they see Him for who he is?  It’s not until he breaks the bread that they really see him.

I wonder if it was because they didn’t expect to see Jesus?  They just weren’t looking.

I wonder how often we miss Jesus because we aren’t looking?  How often we just don’t see?

It seems the pressure of being favourites for today’s rugby against france was too much.  The game was littered with mistakes, forward passes and bad bounces.  We don’t seem to do well when we are fancied to win.  Never mind.  Back to being underdogs next week when we play wales who beat england yesterday.

In other news, I was at Barrhead URC this morning where I managed to fill the bottom of an upside down goblet with wine.  Oops!  Apart from that it went really well.  Someone even told me I’ll soon be  a ‘fully fledged minister’ soon.  I know that’s meant as a compliment but it doesn’t half devalue everything else you do!!!

So that’s the end of my ‘week off’.  In the coming week I’m

• meeting some people to talk about a distance learning youth work course
• writing a service for next Sunday at Lanark (which might end up as a podcast if Bryan gets his act together)
• coming up with a question for my masters research
• organising the Synod of Scotland Youth Forum
• meeting a colleague to talk about online learning tools
• looking forward to seeing my new nephew for the first time (and giving my sister her birthday card – only two weeks late)

Should be a busy but fun week.

This morning I was in Dunfermline leading worship on Epiphany Sunday, the day when we think about the wise men who journeyed to meet the Christ child.  It was communion and I used a mixture of bits and pieces nicked from all kinds of places but it felt like a really coherent service.  It even had a U2 related sermon which is always fun, well for me anyway.  I still haven’t found what I’m looking for was today’s song.  It seemed to me to fit well with those ‘wise’ men who went looking for the king in a palace in Jerusalem and found him in a house in Bethlehem instead.

Tonight was our latest http://togethermct.ning.com.  We walked with the mise men, following the star to Bethlehem.  We put together a labyrinth, complete with MP3 meditations and a star which moved across the sky (look closely at the left hand curtain)!  I think we are starting to see a little group of regulars and I’m very hopeful for the future of our worship experiment.

Friday saw a journey of a different kind.  We live across the road from the church where Phil O’Donnell’s funeral mass was held so i spent most of Friday morning standing at our front window watching footballers going into church and listening to the service relayed outside on speakers.  It was a beautiful service and Phil’s team mate Chris McCart gave a moving tribute to ‘Uncle’ Phil.