Sorry I’ve not posted for a while.  If I were being graded I might get a ‘could do better’.

But then ‘could do better’ is an odd thing to say because we can always do better.  What it really means is ‘I think you’re not trying hard enough’ or ‘you haven’t lived up to my expectations of you’ (even though you might not know what those expectations are).

Success in the world of church is a strange and often unquantifiable thing.  Does more people mean success?  How about more money?  More activities?

Sometimes all of those things are indicators of success, but sometimes none of them are.

So, before you tell someone they ‘could do better’, even in your head, perhaps you should ask yourself what better is, and for who.

I’m not big on resolutions.  I’m not sure they serve much purpose, especially when they are things we don’t really intend to do or stick to for long.  So, instead I’m going to set some personal goals for the year.  I have a forward plan for my work so these goals are just for me.

In 2010 I will:

complete my Masters in Research

I don’t have a lot of choice in this one but I hope to have my dissertation complete by the end of April. I’ve changed the whole concept of my research and instead of something on social media I’m going to be doing a project evaluation with a church in Linwood.

run / cycle / walk more

In 2000 my brother-in-law and I ran a half marathon.  Since then he has completed the Maggies Monster Bike & Hike, I’ve sat on my couch!  I’ve never felt better in my life than when I was running regularly so I’m going to start getting out more.  Avril got some running gear from Santa so I’ll have company.  I also bought some lights for my bike so I have no excuse for not getting out on it over the dark winter months (apart from the snow and ice!) and we are going to climb more hills this year as once I get my Masters out of the road we should have some more leisure time!

learn to play the guitar

My oldest son is learning guitar at school.  I have one and I can’t play it.  I want to learn. Hopefully this will be something we and I can do together.

read

I like to read but don’t do it often.  I go through little splurges of reading a lot then maybe nothing for a few months.  The TV is going off more and books will be read.  After The Guns of Navarone, obviously.

write

They say that everyone has a book in them.  I want to see if mine is ready to come out yet.  I’m not committing to a huge project but I want to write more in this blog and write a related e-book about one of the topics I’m passionate about.

take more photos

Perhaps that should be ‘take better photos’ but I read somewhere that your photos get better after your first 10,000 so perhaps quantity is important.  I started a 365 project last year, trying to take a photo a day, but it ended up in scrambling about to find some random thing to take a photo of.  Instead, I’m going to try to take my camera with me more, take it out of my bag and take more photos.  You can see the results on my Flickr page.

I know that doesn’t sound a very exciting or even particularly ambitious list but I will be very pleased if by the end 2010 I can run 10 miles without stopping, have climbed a dozen hills, can play 10 songs on the guitar, have read 20 books, have an Masters degree and some decent photos of all that.

So, what are your goals for 2010?

Avril and I were married three years ago today.  She makes my life better in so many ways and I can’t imagine being without her.

I’ve had some time off work this week.   It’s the school holidays and my two boys are here.  It’s been great to spend more time than usual with them.  Weekends always seem so quick!

We paid a visit to my sister’s family in the north at the start of the week and had a great (if cold) time at Roseisle Beach near Forres and then at the Landmark Centre in Carrbridge.  Both great places for a day out!

It’s been a good week.

Swimming tomorrow!

I’m going to give my 9 year old son my old iPod but I want to load it with some tracks to begin his musical education. So, what would you put on it?

Weekends are usually not very distinguishable from the rest of the week for me.  Most of them I work in some way or other but this weekend was mostly (although not completely) full of family things.

My nephew Fraser was baptised by his Grandfather (my dad) on Saturday.

It was good to see most of the family although some were off on holiday and my uncle Iain is still recovering in hospital.

This afternoon Jillian, Scott, Calum, Ewan and Fraser came to visit and it was great to catch up and to chat and for the boys to see their cousins.  They miss them loads now they are off in the highlands so it’s always an occasion when they get together!

Jack’s favourite part of the weekend?

Yummy!

They just are.  Today was a day that most days will be better than.  This could be the benchmark by which other days will be measured.

The thing is that when taken in its component parts it hasn’t been too bad but as a whole… sucks.

I started out in a bad mood.  Woke up after not nearly enough sleep (again) and went into the office.  My supervision was ok but there is a whole thing going round all the people who do my job just now about how we account for time rather than focusing on the quality of work, but that’s a story for another day.

Staff meeting was ok but I had to leave early to go to the dental hospital.  That’s when things started to go pear shaped.

I arrived on time on floor 7.  I waited.  20 minutes later I was seen by a jolly consultant who asked me why my dentist had referred me and then sent me for an x-ray on floor 3.  The sign said ‘15 minute wait until you get your x-ray’.  I waited 30 minutes to get my x-ray then a further 40 minutes on the x-ray film.  The staff had helpfully been saving them up and brought through 5 at one time!  Back to floor 7.  More waiting.  Eventually after 2 hours of waiting punctuated with 4 minutes of actually being seen or x-rayed I told the receptionist I would have to leave.  Children to collect and all that.  Just then the nurse came through and called me.  I explained I had to leave.  ”Just 2 minutes” says the nurse and sure enough, I go through and the consultant tells me that he’s not sure I need a root treatment or that my tooth is perforated and that I need to come back and see his colleague.  Great.

I now know EXACTLY what I knew after seeing my own dentist 2 months ago!!!

To be fair the rest of my day has been ok.  I saw my kids and I’m parked in front of my laptop surfing the web and listening to Celtic play in the Champions League while looking forward to Motherwell’s European adventure tomorrow.

Oh, one final moan.  Ryder Cup.  Come on Sky Sports.  How about Pay-Per-View online like last time?  I don’t want to pay for your overpriced sports package on cable.  I just want to watch Europe beat the Yanks… again.  That will cheer me up.

We’re not going far this year so over the summer we’ve been enjoying the pleasures of trying to find things to do nearer to home to keep us and the kids amused.  We’ve popped down to Keswick a couple of times and had some great days out to Dynamic Earth, The Burrell Collection and Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery.

The thing is, and I know I sound like a grumpy old man now, but it COSTS A FORTUNE to stay at home!!!

Anyway, now that the complaining is out of the way, we’ve had, and continue to have, lots of fun.  We’ve gone to the local park and ridden our bikes and played football and camped (not in the local park!) and climbed hills and cruised in boats and met friends and eaten the best fish and chips and cakes.  And that was just this weekend.

We both have this week off work and college and the boys are here so hopefully lots more fun to come.

And we’re winning the Gadget Show competition this week so don’t bother entering.  Thanks.

Ramble Alert! OK. I’m not sure where this post is going but stick with me and hopefully it will get somewhere…

I’m working on some aims and objectives for my job. I tell everyone I train to do it so it’s practice what you preach time.

The thing is… I can write down the stuff I do/will do/can do standing on my head OR I can do all that and try to do something that will make a difference. We have been talking a lot in our little Synod Team about ‘Culture Carrying’. That discussion has grown from a feeling that we have to do better than maintaining the church. To do that we need to embody something else. We need to be culture carriers.

So my quandary is twofold:

Does any of the stuff I do make a difference? And if it does, who or what does it make a difference to? And are those the right people?

What culture should I be carrying? I start where I always do. Asking for thoughts and ideas.

Headphonaught suggests I keep being me. I’m not sure I can be anything else, or that I can write that down on my forward plan!

1. Be me.

2. see 1

I think he’s right though. I need to be authentic. And so does the church. If it’s not about life and living it then what’s the point?

Avril asked me what difference the church can make to the lives of people in and out of it? I don’t really know the answer to that question. I’m sure it makes a bigger difference than we might at first think because the ‘organisation’ isn’t the be all and end all of being church thank God. The people live and move in the world, loving, caring, helping and supporting as they go. But then so do lots of others who have no involvement in church.

My thing is children and young people and the adults that work with them. At least that’s what my job is. My problem is that sometimes I have no idea what to do with that. (is that something I should be admitting?) I sometimes wonder if the church as it exists is anyplace for our children and young people? In some cases yes and in some no.

What I have noticed is that the churches that are willing to invest some time, money and most of all themselves are the ones that do well with children and young people. And yet few of our churches are growing significantly. That isn’t because they are not good places full of good people. I would recommend a number of them to anyone.

I wonder if it is because we don’t advertise our existence? Is that a confidence thing? Are we silent because we don’t know who we are or what we are for?

I wrote a chapter in a book called Inside Verdict which I began with the words “This isn’t working anymore.” Well, is it any better now? Of course some of it is. The Together@MCT project I’ve been working with people on perhaps sheds some light. Engaging worship. Discussion with no pressure. Hopefully some community building. But I’m not sure we have gotten our heads around who it is for and how we should move forward yet. We need to keep the bigger picture before us. That will come though.

The pervasive themes of personalisation and participation return to my thinking again and again. The world, my world, seems to value both of these. How does that fit with community? It seems to in the world of facebook and bebo. I can be me. I can have my personal page but I belong to the community and can participate and add and contribute. How does/could/should that work in church?

Media that targets you but doesn’t include you may not be worth sitting still for.

Clay Shirky

So just a few questions to answer. I’ll get back to my aims and objectives now and see if any or all of those thoughts make it onto the page.

Your thoughts would be much appreciated. Really. They would.